You say it's your birthday... it's my birthday to, yeah

If today is any indication of how the next year is going to be for me, I think it's going to be a good one. At any rate, I'm off to a good start for my thirty-third year!

Last week I decided I would just pretend it wasn't my birthday today and go on with life as normal. But I have too many good people in my life to have a dull birthday! I started off the day running for 20 minutes (which beats my record from last week!), made a beautiful breakfast (which I hadn't planned on doing, but was glad I did), and made bread (which didn't turn out, but we'll eat it anyway).

Symbria and Sara (my good friends) brought me delicious chocolate muffins and told me to be ready at noon. They returned with Symbria's two grandchildren and we all headed to the park for a delicious and beautiful picnic, complete with pewter goblets and plates. She made turkey and beef sandwiches on garlic bread with tomatoes, avocados, and sweet mustard and served it with grapes, asparagus, and Trader Joe's chips with homemade chocolate chip cookies for dessert and sparkling grape juice to drink. She gave me Lily of the Valley soap and a book of daily thoughts. The kids played at the park and we enjoyed the beautiful and uncharacteristic 65 degree weather. It typically snows on my birthday in Utah, so I was grateful for the sunshine and warmth and choose to believe it was a gift from God for my birthday!














Deb (my mother-in-law), drove up to visit for the afternoon. We went shopping at a fun gift shop and then a local clothing store. She bought me some great shoes and then surprised me with a bread maker, which she is certain I will learn to love. I told her I have a bread maker-- my oven. :) But she convinced me to try it out, so we'll see how it works. Joseph told her I probably needed it because my bread didn't turn out today-- but it was only because I halved the recipe and shouldn't have halved the yeast. Anyway, I'll see how a bread machine is for me. I wouldn't mind it except for my small kitchen... but maybe I'll be convinced that it's worth the space.

We ate dinner at a Chinese restaurant and had ice-cream cake for dessert. The kids put my candles on so that they tilted into the center-- 32 candles squished together make a small bonfire with 4-5 inch flames. The fact that they were all so close together improved my ability to blow them all out at once-- I hope that increases my chance of getting my wish! I won't tell you what it is, but I'll be sure to let you know if it happens before my next birthday (let's all cross our fingers that it does...).

To top off the good day, I got several phone calls, emails and messages on Facebook from family and friends wishing me a happy birthday and a great upcoming year. A few of them said the kindest things to me-- I decided to save the messages on my voicemail to return to on a hard day... :) My primary president even brought me cookies with a sweet card. So overall it's been a day of feeling loved by the many good people I have in my life. Thanks everyone for making this a special day! I love you all!

A Five Year Old

Christmas Eve 2003, five days before Emeline's due date, we headed out to Target and the mall to finish our Christmas shopping. Carter was in grad school and I had been working 12 hour days (which, by the way, is very hard on a 9 month pregnant body) so we hadn't taken much time for shopping that month. To make better use of our last few moments before the holiday, we split up. Mary (Carter's sister) was visiting, so she and Carter and Joseph went to the mall and I went to Target. As I left Target, I was very relieved to finally start having contractions. I had contractions for 2 weeks before Joseph was born, but hadn't felt even one little one with Emeline until that time, and I was worried that she wouldn't be born on time-- which would be sad because Grandma Deb was coming out to be there for the birth and could only stay a few days. So I was happy that I was moving in a birth direction and figured she'd probably be born in a few days.

I went to the mall to find Carter et al, and the contractions got worse. By the time I found Carter, they were so bad that I had to stop walking when a contraction started. We went to Pizza Hut (we decided to start a new tradition of eating pizza on Christmas Eve-- but that was the only year we did it for several reasons...). I insisted on ordering it because it took my mind off the pain. I remember sitting in Pizza Hut and looking out the window at my sweet husband and feeling so in love with him. We went home and ate. The contractions were very regular, but I was certain they would stop and life would go on as normal. Within an hour, however, the pain was so intense I was doubling over. We called my doctor and she advised us to go to the hospital.

We checked in around 9 pm and by 10 pm I thought I was going to die. I was seriously regretting eating pizza, which threatened to return with a vengeance. I finally got my epidural and begged Carter to never let me consider natural child birth again (which I had been insisting on and relented when he begged me not to). We watched A Christmas Story and at 1:21 am Emeline slipped out into the world with very little effort on my part. (Carter kept telling everyone "The birth was soooo easy!" I told him someone was going to punch him for saying that... but he was right, it really was easy.)

So you didn't know you were going to get a birth story (maybe I should have warned you), but that's how my little Emeline entered this world. It is one of my favorite days to remember. I felt so close to Carter and it was really special for the two of us to share the intimate moment of welcoming our sweet daughter into our family. He was so proud of her-- he literally beamed with joy and pride when he held her. He thought she was the most beautiful baby he had ever seen. I felt so happy to watch him adore her.

Of course, being born on Christmas Day ruined her birthday and Christmas for the rest of our lives. Christmas time is still my favorite holiday, but that day is not restful anymore. This year was the first year I finally made the cake beforehand, and that helped. I also had most of her presents wrapped the night before (and no, I don't use Christmas paper for her birthday gifts!). But when things are winding down on Christmas evening, I still have to blow up balloons and tape streamers everywhere. It's hard enough to be a single mom trying to pull together Christmas gifts, but add to that a birthday party and the workload doubles.

It occurred to me last fall that because of the holiday, Emeline had never had a birthday party with friends. So I planned on having one the early part of December, but my relationship with what's his name (bitterness has settled in...) tipped my life enough that I never did. January was a whirlwind because of some changes at work, so I decided to have one in February. I thought I would have a tea party, and asked my friend Symbria and her daughter Sara (who babysits for us) to help me with it. Well, they are big-time party planners, so they went way beyond where I had imagined it. It was quite amazing! The day of the party I told Symbria that it was so neat to have such a special party since it was Emeline's first friend birthday party. She replied, "If I had known it was her first party, I would have made a bigger deal of it!" But I don't know how she could have done that because it was quite the big deal already.

We moved all of my living room furniture into the kitchen and took the kitchen table apart and put it in my bedroom. Then they brought in a larger table and set it up in my living room. We removed all the things off of my desk and used it as the refreshment table. They decorated with real tea cups and silver trays. Symbria made white chocolate tea cups for each child and filled them with pudding which they ate with chocolate spoons. She made three kinds of sandwiches, shaped as hearts, flowers and small squares: egg salad, peanut butter, and cucumber. We had chocolate dipped cherries, chocolate dipped shortbread cookies, tea pot chocolates, cupcakes and chocolate dipped marshmallows. They drank sugar cookie tea, which they each poured out of their own tea pots. Sara dressed as a maid and served everyone as classical music played in the background. I've never seen or heard such quiet children in all my life. They were all so proper.

They decorated paper hats with flowers and feathers and stickers and wore them to the tea. Sara made the invitations and delivered them to each invited guest on a silver tray as she wore her maid uniform. I even got to dress up in an Edwardian hat and dress.

I don't know how I will ever be able to top it, but it was a perfect first-time party! Thanks Patterson's for all your work!

32 going on 16

What do the numbers 42, 21, 59, 36, 48, and 54 have in common?

Well, besides being integers, they are the ages of men who have either asked me out or taken me out or shown some interest in doing so over the last few months. It's strange, if not sick and wrong, that there is almost a 40 year range in the ages of these men. I have to say that my preferred range doesn't span that large of a distance...

Yesterday I went to a family ball after a conference I worked at (sadly, I wasn't able to attend any classes, but it was productive in getting people to attend our upcoming fundraiser). Since it was a semi-formal, I pulled my hair up in a twist and borrowed my sister's black cocktail dress. As I walked into the dance, I noticed a man who I had met the night before and said hello as I walked by. I used his name, so he did a quick double take before he recognized me. I held out my hand to shake his and the following conversation ensued:

Me: "I have my hair pulled up, so you must not have recognized me!"
Him: "Yes-- you've taken 4 years off your age, you look like you are 16!"
Me: "Well, that would be more than 4 years-- I'm 32 so that would be half my age!"
Him: "Whoa! That's a good look for you, you could get away with a lot!"

Yikes. I can't believe I still get mistaken for a teenager, or even someone in her early twenties! People tell me I should be grateful, but honestly it's a liability more than an asset.

I could list time after time in the past 4 years for when I was mistaken for a teenager. The funniest one is when I was at a homeschool conference about 4 years ago. I was talking to my 13 year old niece and a friend of her's who must have been 13 or 14. We were joking about Strongbad and the boy said, "Where have you been this whole conference??!!" I told him I was in classes and he said, "Which ones? Why didn't I ever see you??!!" I looked at him for a minute trying to understand why he was asking me that, when it occured to me that he thought I was young enough to attend the youth conference instead of the adult conference. I replied "I was in the adult classes. I'm an adult." He said, "YOU'RE AN ADULT??? How old are you??!!" I asked how old he thought I was and he said "16." When I responded that I was 28 with two kids, I thought he was going to vomit on the spot. He started to make gagging and gasping sounds and wiped off his arms as if he was contaminated (although we never touched). I think the reason he acted so strongly was that he must have been trying to hit on me. How amusing. I'm not sure I'll ever forget that... I wonder if he has... he was probably scarred for life.

Now I go to single adult dances because of my new calling, and I get asked to dance by men who could be my father. I'm not sure which is worse. Likely both are equally bad. Although I must say that I really enjoyed talking to one man who was close to 60 at the last dance and hope to see him again sometime. But some are quite odd and don't seem to think I can tell that they are close to twice my age... It makes me wonder how some people can think I'm a teenager and yet some man who is clearly over 50 thinks I might be a prospective dating companion. I wonder about men sometimes.

My friend said she came across a formula for an appropriate age range when dating. I wish I could remember it-- it had something to do with taking half your age and adding or subtracting ten, but there was something else to it. Anyway, I think my range was 25 to 45 or there abouts. Of course there are always exceptions, but the fact that I look as young as I do makes me wonder what these older men could be thinking and helps me empathize a little more with the 21 year old. Though, the latter does know my age, so I don't know what his excuse is.

All I can say is that the adult dating scene is an odd, odd world. I'm trying to enjoy it and keep myself amused at the very least....